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[krasnayas]

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[krasnayas]

there's a cold war documentary marathon on history channel and a bottle of triple filtered in my fridge.
plus going out requires a bra and pants, and post-finals me is not in the mood.

[ enjoy that mental image, steve. ]

[shield]

[ ⚰️⚰️⚰️]

I forgot that was on tonight

[ there's no universe in which he knows the right way to respond to that last part so he doesn't ]

[krasnayas]

and that is why the universe gave us the dvr.
if you get tired of captain khakis and the flip flop brigade, let me know.

[ pants not included in the offer. ]

[shield]

Honestly I've been a little tired of them from the start.

[krasnayas]

i already ordered the garlic knots from gio's.
if you hurry, i might save you one.

[shield]

Wow, you'd sacrifice a whole garlic knot? Now that's friendship

[krasnayas]

it's the mark of true love. legend has it saving the last garlic knot is practically a proposal.

[ 🙃🙃🙃 ]

[shield]

[ 💀💀💀 ]

Do you think they'd cater the wedding if they heard it was a garlic knot proposal?

[krasnayas]

they might even throw in a few cannolis.

[ natasha's secret weakness: a good dessert ]

[shield]

I must be sobering up because I found the strength to refrain from making a "that's amore" joke.

[krasnayas]

i don't know whether to be proud or disappointed you couldn't give in to temptation.

[ just try it, steve, it's very fun ]

you still out with your clone buddies or should i be pulling out a second plate?

[shield]

The correct response is relief that I didn't subject you to my bad jokes.

[ groan-worthy jokes is more her territory anyway, he's just trying not to infringe, ok ]

I'm in an Uber already.

[krasnayas]

are you trying to say you don't like bad jokes? i'm crushed.

[ he likes her bad jokes, ok, there's no denying it. ]

food's here. you're not. who loves me more, you or gio's?

[shield]

You got me. I only like you for your class notes.

What's love if not passing up Uber Pool even though they're doing surge pricing because every student in a five mile radius is hammered?

[krasnayas]

you must really hate me, then. you know i don't take notes.

[ she just writes commentary about the stupid questions people ask in imessage to make it look like she's taking notes... and also to try and distract him when the furrows in his brow get too deep to be ignored. ]

don't lie. you're just too good to share an uber after that time we got trapped with the newlyweds.

[ nothing is more traumatizing than watching a drunken couple decide the third row of an seven-passenger minivan was the place to begin getting undressed for sloppy drunk sex. ]