Mm. [ a hum, considering, as she rests an elbow on her knee, chin settling in her palm. a Look. ] Nobody, huh?
[ what was she doing, then? being connected to him, living the same life? she's mostly kidding, but there's a ripple of something else lurking just under the surface. a hint at the very real loyalty she's given him despite all her training telling her to do the opposite. ]
[ the look he gives her is apologetic and contrite. he knows what she's given up to be here and he wouldn't have had her do it if it had been his choice. but he couldn't make her do anything. no one could make her do anything she didn't want to do. ]
But you have to know I wish you weren't here. Not because I don't value what you but because this is a mess. And it's my mess. No one else's.
[ they'd let the accords split them like a log, and now look where they were. scattered to the winds, unable to rely on each other; if some larger force wanted them vulnerable, they'd certainly gotten their way.
but natasha wasn't going to just leave steve to exist on the run on his own, or to shoulder that burden alone either. she owed him that, at least. ]
Don't make it worse by telling a girl you wish she'd leave you alone, okay?
[ maybe that's what the words sounded like but it's not what he was trying to express. he sighs and finally sits down, frustrated and at a loss. he doesn't know how to really say what he wants to say. ]
Besides, even if I was saying that, you wouldn't listen. [ stubborn. ] But that's not what I mean.
[ he'd argue until he couldn't anymore that it was everyone's mess. it really wasn't. he's going to carry the burden like a scarlet letter until the day he dies. ] But we're sitting in an off the map motel room and we shouldn't be. You shouldn't be.
What should I be doing? Playing Stark clean-up like I did when I recruited him?
[ that had been the defining line, the dragged divider in the sand between them. choose a side: tony or steve, going with the accords or against them. and while natasha had signed the accords, and while she'd watched as they made steve into the enemy of the state for simply standing against them, she couldn't let him go off on his own. he needed her, and she owed him.
so here she was, on a motel bed, arguing with captain america to stand the hell down for exactly one night. what a turn of events. ]
I'm where I want to be, okay. No amount of moral grandstanding from you is going to change that.
[ he's quiet for a few moments, eyes on her. there's no anger there, not even disappointment. guilt, of course, sits heavily across his shoulders but he knows that he's not the only one to deal with that. he's not unique in that regard. ]
What if I asked nicely?
[ the corners of his mouth flick up, a ghost of a smile more than anything else. it's not a serious question. he's not trying to pick a fight with her because she's the only person he has right now and he needs her. even if he hates that she's involved, that he might ruin her life a little more, he needs her. ]
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no subject
[ what was she doing, then? being connected to him, living the same life? she's mostly kidding, but there's a ripple of something else lurking just under the surface. a hint at the very real loyalty she's given him despite all her training telling her to do the opposite. ]
no subject
[ the look he gives her is apologetic and contrite. he knows what she's given up to be here and he wouldn't have had her do it if it had been his choice. but he couldn't make her do anything. no one could make her do anything she didn't want to do. ]
But you have to know I wish you weren't here. Not because I don't value what you but because this is a mess. And it's my mess. No one else's.
no subject
[ they'd let the accords split them like a log, and now look where they were. scattered to the winds, unable to rely on each other; if some larger force wanted them vulnerable, they'd certainly gotten their way.
but natasha wasn't going to just leave steve to exist on the run on his own, or to shoulder that burden alone either. she owed him that, at least. ]
Don't make it worse by telling a girl you wish she'd leave you alone, okay?
no subject
[ maybe that's what the words sounded like but it's not what he was trying to express. he sighs and finally sits down, frustrated and at a loss. he doesn't know how to really say what he wants to say. ]
Besides, even if I was saying that, you wouldn't listen. [ stubborn. ] But that's not what I mean.
[ he'd argue until he couldn't anymore that it was everyone's mess. it really wasn't. he's going to carry the burden like a scarlet letter until the day he dies. ] But we're sitting in an off the map motel room and we shouldn't be. You shouldn't be.
no subject
[ that had been the defining line, the dragged divider in the sand between them. choose a side: tony or steve, going with the accords or against them. and while natasha had signed the accords, and while she'd watched as they made steve into the enemy of the state for simply standing against them, she couldn't let him go off on his own. he needed her, and she owed him.
so here she was, on a motel bed, arguing with captain america to stand the hell down for exactly one night. what a turn of events. ]
I'm where I want to be, okay. No amount of moral grandstanding from you is going to change that.
no subject
What if I asked nicely?
[ the corners of his mouth flick up, a ghost of a smile more than anything else. it's not a serious question. he's not trying to pick a fight with her because she's the only person he has right now and he needs her. even if he hates that she's involved, that he might ruin her life a little more, he needs her. ]
I can say please and thank you, even.